


Babysitting

by Dillian



Series: Springtime Exchange -- 2017 [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fanservice, M/M, Short One Shot, Slice of Life, adorable children, parenting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 07:24:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10509069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dillian/pseuds/Dillian
Summary: Loki and Thor are a couple, and they have two kids.  Tony and Steve have agreed to babysit them.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DaimeryanRei](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaimeryanRei/gifts).



_**The Avengers** _ **,** _**Iron Man** _ **,** _**Thor** _ **, and** _**Captain America** _ **, and all situations and characters thereof, belong strictly and solely to Marvel Comics.  This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.**

There’s a blond one:  Blue eyes, very noisy.  And then there’s the one with dark hair, green eyes.  “Loki’s kid,” Tony calls him, even though, of course, both of them are Loki’s.  Because he can turn into a girl.  Magic?  Annoying, as per usual.  But the real question here, is why would he want to use it, for _that_?   Word-of-god from Pepper, who’s had three babies so far, with Happy:  “It’s like pooping out a watermelon.”  Why would a guy volunteer for that?  And twice?   _Why_?!?

But the kids are cute (if noisy).  And Pepper’s right, it’s probably good for him and Steve to get an idea what they’re in for, before they decide if they’re going to have one of their own.  Tony offered to babysit for her first, by the way.  She said no.  Which tells you something it might not be comforting to think about for too long.

Babies:  They get dirty.  Fast.  Little Loki (he has an Asgardian name, but Tony can’t remember what it is, offhand):  He eats his Oreo carefully, first screwing it apart and licking the cream out, and then nibbling the cookies, one at a time, no fuss, no muss.  Little Thor?  Tony turned his back on him for one minute, next minute he turns back and the Oreo package is empty, Little Thor’s got chocolate all over him, including in his diaper, and how he managed that one?   _Good question_.

So yeah, dirty.  Means baths.  Little Thor loves baths.  Splashes all over, “Bam, bam, bam!”

Little Loki?  Plays with the duckies, plays with the washcloth, leans over and pinches Little Thor, if you don’t watch him close enough.  And then Little Thor hits him, and then he cries.  You should spank him for starting it, but one look into those sad, green eyes, and it’s hard not to melt.

Here’s Tony now, and he’s all wet, from being splashed by the kids, and he’s cuddling Little Loki close, and he’s shushing him, “Now, now, shh, shh, it’s okay,” like that.

Little Loki is crying, and for such a cute baby, his crying is about the most _un-cute_ thing you could possibly imagine.  Screams like that could peel paint off the walls.  They could drive grown men insane…  You want to know why Daddy Loki is so horrible?  Probably the offsprings’ fault.

...Uh-oh, there goes Little Thor too, and now it’s, “ **WAAAA, WAAAA, WAAAA** ,” and, “ **BOO-HOO, WAAAA, WAAAA,** _ **WAAAA**_ **!!!** ”

At first, Steve’s voice is like a little mouse-noise, peripheral, and barely audible over the sound of the babies.  “Umm…  I…”  Then suddenly, it’s a yell:  “Tony?  Tony!!!”

Tony looks.  Steve’s got Baby Thor.  He’s holding him…  Wet baby, getting Steve all wet, making his t-shirt stick to him, outlining the abs, and the gorgeous pecs.  Fanservice?  Yeah.  If it weren’t for all the crying.  Seriously, someday Tony’s going to have to invent a mute-button for life (and especially if they are going to have kids, because they might cry like these two).

Hmm, yeah, wet Steve…  Oh yeah, oh yeah, there are babies to take care of here, aren’t there?  Which means they’d probably better take care of them.

“We have to get diapers on them,” Steve says.  “Right away.  You do have some diapers, right Tony?”

Diaper bag’s by the door.  Tony digs through it, finds the Pampers.  He brings them back, to find Steve with both babies on the bed.  He’s tickling their tummies, making them giggle.  Happy, squealy, noisy sounds, that are so much better than the other sounds they were making that it’s like a miracle, and Tony can’t help staring in awe.

“Steve!  How did you get them to do that?”

Steve looks at him like he didn’t just perform magic with two screaming waa-machines.  “Huh?  Get them to do what, Tony?”

Quick kiss for smiling Mr. Miracle-Maker.  “Never mind.”  Tony hands him the diapers.  “Here,” he says.  “Work another miracle.”

“Uh-uh, no way.”  Steve reaches out, takes only one.  “You have to learn too,” he says.  Then he puts the diaper onto a squirming Little Loki, so fast Tony can’t see how he does it.

Tony grabs his baby…  Naturally, it’s Little Thor.  AKA, The Wiggly One.  Who promptly lives up to his name by wiggling out of Daddy Tony’s hands, and right onto the floor, where he looks around for a second or two, then starts waahing again.  Babies?  Fun, fun, _fun_!

Steve picks him up.  He pats him a little, and the noises stop.  Then he puts him back on the bed.  “You are going to learn to do this, Tony,” he says, with that steely, Captain America intonation.  “Come here.”

Tony goes there.  Steve puts his hands on Tony’s, then they go at the diapering job together… -- Steve’s hands, by the way?  On top of yours?  And his lips right next to your ears, while he’s giving instructions?  Almost enough to make it worth it to have one of these waah-y little things of their own someday. Mmm, diapering with Steve! -- ...Where were we?

Oh yeah, that’s right:   _Diapering_.  “You really want kids?”  Steve’s lips are soft, and his breath is a warm tickle.  Under his skillful hands, Tony gets the diaper around the relevant parts of Little Thor, fastens the tapes tight enough so that it won’t fall right back off again.  Little Thor pouts.  Steve shows Tony how to tickle his tummy so he laughs instead of crying, and then everything is peachy.

“We don’t have to,” Tony says,  “The kids, I mean.  But you would make a good Daddy.”

“You think so?”  Bashful look all over Steve’s face, so that he looks like a little boy himself.  “I don’t know.  I always thought you’d be the good father, Tony, you always care so much about everyone.”

“Pfft, me a father.”  Tony thinks about his own dad:  With a role-model like that, what kind of dad would he make?  A horrible one, probably…

He must be frowning, because Steve leans over and kisses him.  “You’d be a better father than you think, Tony.”  He puts a baby in his arms (Little Loki, this time).  “Have these kids been fed yet?”

“Yeah, Oreos.”  Tony leads the way into the kitchen.  “They made a mess.  I guess they’re probably going to do the same thing with the baby food?”

Steve’s cuddling Baby Thor.  “Did oo make a mess?” -- Steve talking baby-talk?  Adorable.  Maybe this whole having-kids thing is a good idea after all. --  “ _Did_ oo?” he says, and he makes plane-sounds that make both kids giggle, while he swoops Little Thor down into his highchair.  Then he looks at Tony.  “Where’s the baby food?”

Strained yams and minced chicken don’t sound very Asgardian, so Tony tells the babies they’re eating Mashed Bilgesnape with Boiled Asgardian Vegetables.  Steve compliments him for his creativity.  Then the babies get mashed bilgesnape all over themselves, and they spread the boiled Asgardian vegetables so far and wide that it’s a miracle you can even see the kitchen anymore, much less the babies.

Tony looks at Steve.  “More baths?”

Steve nods.  And then it’s back into the bathroom.


End file.
